“Why can’t I be chosen?” murmured Baldwin plaintively.
“Because you’re a man. Women serve God by tending Her hearth, for they are made in God’s image and it is their duty to administer to all that She creates.”
“If you preach a heresy,” whispered Baldwin, “then the church will punish you.”
“Martyrdom isn’t punishment! The heathen Dariyans rewarded the blessed Daisan by flaying him alive and cutting out his heart. But God gave him life again, just as martyrs live again in the Chamber of Light.”
Baldwin flicked a fly away from his face as he considered the women riding at the front of the procession. “Do you suppose Margrave Judith will be lifted up to the Chamber of Light when she dies, or will she be flung into the Abyss?”
At the vanguard rode some twenty guardsmen, soldiers fitted out in tabards sewn with a leaping panther. After them came Margrave Judith herself. She had a proud carriage, silvering hair, and a handsome profile marked in particular by a strong nose; she wore a tunic of the richest purple, a hue Ivar had never seen before and marveled at now, embroidered so cunningly with falcons stooping upon fleeing hares and panthers springing upon unsuspecting deer that at odd moments he thought he had glimpsed a real scene, not one caught by silk thread on linen. Riding beside the margrave, Tallia looked frail with her head bowed humbly and her shoulders curved as though under a great weight; she still dressed as simply as a novice, in a coarse robe with a shawl draped modestly over her head. Other attendants surrounded them, laughing and joking. Judith preferred women as companions; of the nobles, clerics, stewards, servants, grooms, carters, and humble slaves who attended her, almost all were female, with the exception of most of her soldiers and two elderly fraters who had served her mother before her. She rode at the head of a magnificent procession. Of the entourages Ivar had seen, only the king’s had been larger.
“Why would such a powerful noble be flung into the pit?” Ivar replied finally. “Except that she is in error about the Holy Word and the truth of the blessed Daisan’s death and life. But that is the fault of the church, which denies the truth to those eager to hear the Holy Word. I suppose Margrave Judith will endow a convent at her death and the nuns there will pray for her soul every day. So why shouldn’t she ascend to the Chamber of Light, with so many nuns praying so devoutly for the care of her soul once she is dead?”
Baldwin sighed expansively. “Then why should I bother to be good, if it only means that I’ll endure for eternity next to her in the Chamber of Light after I’m dead?”
“Baldwin! Didn’t you listen at all to the lessons?” Ivar realized at that moment that Baldwin’s rapt attentive gaze, so often turned on Master Pursed-Lips, Brother Methodius, and their other teachers, might have all this time concealed his complete mental absence from their lessons. “In the Chamber of Light all of our earthly desires will be washed away in the glory of God’s gaze.”
At that instant the margrave chanced to look back toward them. The gleam in her eyes caused poor Baldwin to look startled and abruptly shy, but unfortunately Baldwin’s modesty only highlighted the length of his eyelashes, the curve of his rosy cheeks, and the blush of his lips. The margrave smiled and returned her attention to her companions, who laughed uproariously at some comment she now made. Like a cat, she gained great pleasure in toying with the plump mouse she had snared.
Ivar shuddered. “But there’s nothing you can do anyway,” he said to Baldwin.
“That doesn’t mean I have to like it.” A half-gulped-down sob choked out of Baldwin’s throat and was stifled. “At least you’re with me, Ivar.” He reached out and clasped Ivar’s hand tightly, almost crushing Ivar’s knuckles with the desperate strength of his grip.
“For now.”
“I’ll beg her to keep you by me,” said Baldwin fiercely, releasing Ivar’s hand. “You can be my attendant. Promise me you’ll stay with me, Ivar.” He turned the full force of those beautiful eyes on Ivar. Ivar flushed, felt the heat of it suffuse his face; that blush satisfied Baldwin, who first smiled softly at him and then glanced nervously toward the woman who now controlled his fate.
That evening Ivar was allowed to pour wine at the margrave’s table. They had stopped for the night at a monastic estate, and Judith had commanded a fine feast. The margrave was in high spirits; the food was plentiful, the jesting so pointed that Baldwin could not take his gaze off the wooden trencher he shared with his bride. A poet who traveled with them performed “The Best of Songs,” appropriate for a wedding night.