“Yes,” I say at last. “Well, it’s all… um… fine!”
I’m not going to bother Suze with my problems. I’m not.
“Was Luke all right about you getting married in England?” She looks anxiously at me. “I mean, it didn’t cause a rift between you or anything?”
“No,” I say after a pause. “I can honestly say that it didn’t.”
I hold the door open for her and we walk out into Sloane Square. A column of schoolchildren in corduroy knickerbockers is crowding the pavement, and we stand aside, waiting for them to pass.
“You know, you made the right decision.” Suze squeezes my arm. “I was so worried you were going to choose New York. What made you finally decide?”
“Er… this and that. You know. So, erm… did you read about these new proposals to privatize the water system?”
But Suze ignores me. Honestly, isn’t she interested in current affairs?
“So what did Elinor say when you called off the Plaza?”
“She said… erm… well, she wasn’t pleased, of course. She said she was very cross, and… er…”
“Very cross?” Suze raises her eyebrows. “Is that all? I thought she’d be furious!”
“She was furious!” I amend hurriedly. “She was so furious, she… burst a blood vessel!”
“She burst a blood vessel?” Suze stares at me. “Where?”
“On her… chin.”
There’s silence. Suze is standing still in the street, her expression slowly changing. “Bex—”
“Let’s go and look at baby clothes!” I say hurriedly. “There’s that really sweet shop on the King’s Road…”
“Bex, what’s going on?”
“Nothing!”
“There is! I can tell. You’re hiding something.”
“No, I’m not!”
“You did call the American wedding off, didn’t you?”
“I…”
“Bex?” Her voice is as stern as I’ve ever heard it. “Tell me the truth.”
Oh God. I can’t lie any more.
“I… I’m going to,” I say weakly.
“You’re going to?” Suze’s voice rises in dismay. “You’re going to?”
“Suze—”
“I should have known! I should have guessed! But I just assumed you must have called it off, because your mother kept on organizing her wedding, and no one said anything about New York, and I thought, oh, Bex must have decided to get married at home after all…”
“Suze, please. Don’t worry about it,” I say quickly. “Just stay calm… breathe deeply…”
“How can I not worry about it!” cries Suze. “How can I not worry? Bex, you promised me you were going to sort this out weeks ago! You promised!”
“I know! And I’m going to. It’s just… it’s been so difficult. Deciding between them. They both seemed so perfect, in completely different ways—”
“Bex, a wedding isn’t a handbag!” says Suze incredulously. “You can’t decide you’ll treat yourself to two!”
“I know! I know! Look, I’m going to sort it out—”
“Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“Because you’re all lovely and serene and happy!” I wail. “And I didn’t want to spoil it with my stupid problems.”
“Oh, Bex.” Suze gazes at me silently — then puts an arm round me. “So… what are you going to do?”
I take a deep breath.
“I’m going to tell Elinor the New York wedding is all off. And I’m going to get married here in England.”
“Really? You’re completely sure about that?”
“Yes. I’m sure. After seeing Mum and Dad… and Mum was so sweet… and she has no idea what I’ve been planning behind her back…” I swallow hard. “I mean, this wedding is everything to her. Oh God, Suze, I feel so stupid. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t want to get married at the Plaza. I don’t want to get married anywhere else except at home.”
“You won’t change your mind again?”
“No. Not this time. Honestly, Suze, this is it.”
“What about Luke?”
“He doesn’t care. He’s said all along, it’s up to me.”
Suze is silent for a moment. Then she reaches in her bag for her mobile phone and thrusts it at me.
“OK. If you’re going to do it, do it now. Dial the number.”