So why did the thought of that suddenly make me sad?

I glanced at my watch and realized it was almost ten o'clock. I needed to get home and relieve my dad of babysitting duty.

"Hey, where are you off to? It's not even ten yet," Drew said as I stood up from the couch and started moving to the foyer to grab my coat.

"Sorry, I need to get home to Ga…et some laundry finished," I said, stumbling over my words.

Dammit, I almost said Gavin. I am a chicken-shit. I should have just said it and gotten it over with. Liz winced at my almost-slip and Jim coughed.

"I'll call you tomorrow and we can go over a few more things," Liz said with a raise of her eyebrows.

I know by "go over a few more things" she meant that she was going to beat the shit out of me for not saying something to Carter tonight.

Super, looking forward to it.

I waved good-bye to everyone and quickly walked out into the foyer. I had just gotten my coat on when Carter came rushing around the corner.

"Hey, I'll walk you out to your car," he said as he opened the front door for me with a smile.

I stood there like an idiot, just staring at him. I should tell him. Right now, while we’re out here alone.

Hey, you don't remember me, but I’m the one whose virginity you took five years ago and well, guess what? It's a boy!

I couldn’t do it. I broke my stare and walked out the door, rushing down the steps to my car and putting as much distance between us as I could. Didn’t Liz say that Carter mentioned to Jim something about his “mystery girl” smelling like chocolate? I didn’t need him putting the connection together. Not now. I needed more time. I needed to figure out what to say and find out what kind of guy he really was. Did he even want children? Did he plan on staying in town for long or was he going to put in for another transfer? Maybe he already had six other children spread around the world that he didn’t support. Oh God, what if he decides he wants to be a father to Gavin and sticks around, then something happens to all the mothers of his illegitimate children and suddenly he gets custody of them and we have not one but seven children? And they all hate us because we were never there for them and Gavin turns to life on the streets and turning tricks for crack because a homeless guy named Fromunda Cheese told him crack ISN’T whack. I needed more time. I needed to formulate a plan that kept Gavin out of the hood. I also needed to calm down. It’s not like Carter was begging for my attention or asking to see me again. He was being nice and walking me to my car. End of story.

Carter followed right behind me and stopped by the hood as I opened the door and turned to face him.

"I'd like to see you again, Claire," he said softly.

"Well f**k me gently with a chainsaw," I muttered as I stood there with the car door open.

His mouth dropped open and for a second I thought I saw recognition flash across his face.

Shit, I just quoted Heathers. I didn't even realize what I was saying. The non-bat-shit crazy part of me willed him to remember, to put two and two together and realize that I was the girl from the frat party. Jesus, we’d practically acted out the entire movie while we played beer pong. We traded quotes back and forth until our sides ached from laughing. But his silence proved that whatever memories he may have had about me were still locked up tight in the far recesses of his mind.

"Call me. Liz can give you my number," I blurted before I could change my mind. I scrambled into the car, started it up and pulled quickly out of the driveway, glancing into the rearview mirror to see Carter, still standing in the driveway, get smaller and smaller as I drove away.

10. Seduction and Snacks…and Snafu's

I couldn't stop staring at Claire all through dinner. I felt bad that everyone seemed to be picking on her, but she was so adorable when she got embarrassed. Her cheeks flushed pink and she looked down at her lap and tugged on her left ear lobe.

Jesus, I just used the word adorable like I was talking about a f**king puppy. Wait, that didn't sound right. Although if she was a puppy, she'd probably be f**king something because she's so hot. So in reality, she would be a f**king puppy. I mean come on, what dog wouldn't want to tap that ass? I need to stop watching Animal Planet. Claire is not a puppy - one that f**ks or one that doesn't. Period.

I had a hard time finishing my dinner. The lasagna was amazing, but all I could think about was Claire pleasuring herself with a vibrator.

Or her hand.

Or a vibrator and her hand.

Or a vibrator and her hand and my hand.

Well, hello there, Mr. Hard-on.

I clearly had issues when it came to this woman I just met. Part of me wanted to rip that guy Max’s head off just because he got to touch her, kiss her and be inside her. But when she was finished with the story, I just wanted to find him so I could point and laugh at him. What kind of a douche tried to have sex with a woman on his couch with his daddy living there, coming and going as he pleases? Real smooth there, buddy. I stopped being jealous of the guy at that point. Now, all I wanted to do was show her how a real man should act. I had an irrational need to show her everything she'd been missing.

Right, because I am the king of all things sexual. My penis can make grown women weep in the streets.

Things got silly as the men drank more beer and the women tried thinking up business names for Liz and Claire’s place. I didn't know why they shot down "Candy-Coated Cunnilingus." That was brilliant. And it made me think of sucking on a Jolly Rancher, brushing the wet piece of candy between Claire’s legs and then sliding my tongue along candy trail.