“Shaw? Shaw Landon is that you?” I looked up from my coffee and stifled a groan as Amy Rodgers barreled down on me. I should have remembered her and this Starbucks went hand in hand.

“It sure is, Amy how are you?”

She air kissed my face and gave me a toothy smile. She had never even pretended to be this nice to me in high school so I was instantly on high alert.

“Oh I’m good. I just finished beauty school and I’m working in a super trendy, super high end salon in Denver, you’re living there now too, right?”

I nodded and I saw her eyes trail over my new and improved hair. “Well I’m excited I ran into you, I was thinking about looking you up.”

I lifted a brow. “Why?”

She flicked her hair over her shoulder. “Well I was home a few weekends ago doing laundry and I ran into one of the Archer twins, the one with all the tattoos, anyway I remembered that you were close with them and I was wondering if I could get his number from you. I can’t remember which one is which but lordy was he gorgeous. I heard they moved to Denver too and I was hoping I might be able to start something up with him.”

I felt everything inside me turn to ice. I almost threw my coffee in her pretty, perfect face but just barely, by the skin of my teeth managed to refrain myself. “Remy died, Amy it’s just Rule, has only been Rule for almost three years now and I‘m sure he would just looooove to hear from some idiot girl that didn’t even know who he was, just one of the Archer twins. You make me want to vomit and you’re lucky we’re in a public place or there’s a really good chance I would be punching you repeatedly in the face right now.” She gaped at me in astonishment as I pushed past her and tossed my coffee in the trash, all taste for it gone. “I’m not giving you his number because he’s mine and if you get anywhere near him I swear to God the things I do to you will be chronicled on Investigation Discovery for years to come.”

I was shaking by the time I got back in the car and it only took a second for the tears to come. I missed Remy, I missed Rule and I missed Margot and Dale. Rule was right, I didn’t know what it felt like to defy my mother because I never had and now she was just one more person trying to get between me and the person I wanted to be with. I had no trouble laying claim to him with a bimbo like Amy, but my mother, well that was far bigger fish to fry. I had always known he was worth it, that’s what I was waiting so desperately for his parents to see, but when the time had come to prove it I had done what everyone else did to him and let my mother pressure me into doing something that moved me away from him. I pressed my forehead against the steering wheel and picked my phone back up. I stared at it for a solid five minutes with the car running trying to think of what to say to him and all I came up with was:

- I really am sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I should’ve stayed. I really miss you.

I put it away before I made myself crazy seeing if he was going to write anything back and made my way to my parent’s house. The house was more like some kind of elegant mountain chalet than an actual home. Everything past the gates was elegant and expensive and as I parked and made my way to the front door I remembered how small I felt next to the grandeur. When Remy had come into my life and taken me under his wing, I had taken the opportunity to spend every second I could at the Archer’s, for all their faults they made a home where it was clear people were loved and cared for, both my mother and my father’s homes had none of that. They were filled with servants and show pieces and as I was led into the living room I was struck again by how very much I didn’t want to be here and how if I couldn’t fix things with Rule after this weekend there was a good chance I was going to have to be committed because I just might lose my mind.

My mother in all her refined glory came at me with a critical eye. There was no hug, no how was your drive, no sorry I missed your birthday sweetie just a quick sweep of her ice cold gaze from the top of my head to the toes of my laced up leather boots. Her already tight mouth pulled into a frown. “What have you done to your hair Shaw? It looks dreadful and I hope you brought more appropriate clothes for the country club, we’re going to dinner not a potluck.”

I was wearing leggings and a long oxford with a wide leather belt that matched my boots. It was way too fancy for a simple car ride home but I had been trying to avoid this exact scene. Once again I had failed to meet her exacting standards. My hands curled tighter around the bag I had refused to give to the maid that opened the door. My heart was in my throat, well actually it was back in Denver currently ignoring me but that wasn’t here nor there.

“I assume you and Gabe had time to talk on the way up here?”

“Not really. I’ve told you I don’t have anything left to say to him.”

If it was possible her mouth pulled into an even tighter frown, she looked like she was sucking on a lemon. My mother was a beautiful woman, I got my fair hair and light coloring from her, but as I looked at her objectively for possibly the first time in my life I realized that all that beauty was harsh and encased in so much ice and bitterness that it was hard to see.

“I asked you to stop being ridiculous young lady. You will be polite and charming this weekend. I will not tolerate any hostility or rudeness directed at Gabe or any of the Davenports, do you understand me?”

From somewhere deep inside of me the Shaw that I was when I was with Rule, the Shaw that should have refused to come on this farce of a weekend raised her head. I flicked the ends of my two-toned hair over my shoulder and brushed past my mother to head to the stairs where my room was located. “You ordered me to be here mother, so now you have to deal with that whether you like the outcome or not.” She called something after me in a shrill voice but I tuned her out calling over my shoulder, “Let me know when you’re ready to leave for dinner.”

I shut the door to the room that had never really felt like mine and let my bag drop on the floor. My mother’s interior designer had done the room in a pallet of grays and soft pinks. It was all very lovely, feminine and girly to the max with a million frilly pillows on the bed and even an honest to god lacy canopy draped over the white four poster bed. It was the room a person that wanted to sleep in luxury and be surrounded by million thread count sheets would enjoy, for me it had always felt lifeless and dull. There were no personal pictures, no splashes of color, no TV or radio simply nothing to describe a thing about the person that was supposed to live there. I settled cross legged on the center of the big bed and sent Ayden a text. She had been acting a little weird since the night she had Jet take her home from the bar, but she didn’t want to talk about it and since I was having my own boy drama I didn’t want to fight to drag it out of her.

- Wasn’t even in the door two steps before she mentioned my hair and my outfit. So good to be home L

- That sucks honey.

- Yeah and Rule still won’t text me back.

- Ummm….

- What?

- I don’t know if I should tell you.

- Tell me what?

- You have to promise not to freak out.

- Well now I’m bound to freak out!

- Loren was talking about being out last night; she said she saw Rule and the boys at whatever club she was at.

- Oh my God….

- Yeah well she mentioned she was going to try and talk to him or whatever because she’s a clueless slut, but he had some redhead hanging all over him, she said she couldn’t even get close to him.

- Fuck.

- Yeah well she also said he left with her, the redhead, I mean she said the whole gang of them left together and she is a heinous gossip and likes to cause trouble but I figure you should have a heads up since you can’t get ahold of him.

- Thanks.

- You okay?

- No, not at all.

- Want me to hurt him for you?

- Maybe, I’ll call you later after I get through this stupid dinner. Love ya girl.

- You too xoxo

I swiped a finger across the screen and took a second to hold my breath before letting it out in a furious screech and chucking the expensive device against the wall. I buried my head in my hands and tried to keep from throwing up. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I had had everything I ever wanted for just a few seconds and all it took was one single bump, one tiny disagreement to screw it all up. It shouldn’t hurt that I was so easily and quickly replaced I knew Rule, knew how he operated but I still felt like someone was poking holes in the very fiber of my soul with a scalding hot poker. Being in love with Rule had never been an easy thing to do, and now that I knew what it was like to actually love him I wasn’t sure how to go back to before.

I spent the rest of the afternoon sequestered in my room. My mother sent one of the staff up to see if I wanted lunch but I refused to answer the door when they knocked. She sent her husband up around five to tell me that we were leaving in an hour for the club and while a big part of me wanted nothing more than to wear skinny jeans and my motorcycle boots I decided that having that fight with my mother in front of my half siblings would just make me seem childish and ridiculous so I put on a long sleeved white and purple A-line dress that hit me a few inches above my knee and spent a few minute flat-ironing my hair so that it fell in a slick curtain around my shoulders. I had a pair of purple booties that had a spiked heel and little studs on the back that completed the look It wasn’t exactly picture perfect country club gear but it should get me through the front door without too much trouble.

My mother gave me the evil eye as I came down the stairs and Jack helped me into my gray pea coat. No one said anything as we piled into the family Escalade and headed to the country club. The kid’s jibber jabbed back and forth and I brooded about Rule and some unknown redhead hoping it didn’t mean what I thought I did and willing the car to get a flat tire so I could avoid Gabe and his family. It didn’t happen and when we got to the club and I had to force a smile and let Gabe kiss my cheek and pull out my chair and it literally took every single ounce of willpower I had not to run screaming in the other direction. I settled in between Gabe and my mother and prepared to suffer through the most awkward, awful dinner of my life.

Chapter 9

Rule

“So you want to come clean and tell me why you’re acting like even more of an asshole this week than normal?” Rome was standing over me while I bench pressed the weight up off my chest. He had asked me to go to the gym on Saturday because he was supposed to start rehabbing his shoulder. Even banged up I forgot how cut my brother was. Working out with him put me to shame and I spent most of the workout trying not to flinch when I noticed how much more weight he was using than I normally did. Once the bar was locked in place I sat up and ran a towel over my sweaty face and newly shaved head. I hadn’t cut it all the way to the scalp like Nash wore his, but the mohawk was gone and all I was left with was dark stubble all across my head. With my eyebrow rings and the tattoos that peaked up my neck I thought it made me look a little like an escaped prisoner.

“Not really.” I followed Rome as he moved over to the set of free weights and started hefting one back and forth with his bad arm. It still bothered him because he winced each time he retracted and extended but he didn’t complain and just kept up the reps. I should tell him I was all bent out of shape over Shaw; he would probably have really good advice to give me because I was pretty sure I was on a path bound to screw up something that was turning out to be amazingly good. When he left Wednesday to take her to dinner it had been everything I could do not to tackle him and demand to know if she had asked about me, if she was doing okay but then I remembered I was purposely not answering her text messages or returning her calls and figured I would just leave it be.