“Thank you, God,” I said, relieved beyond belief.

“And thank you,” Ellie said, walking into the room. She was bawling and hugged me tightly.

“Ellie,” I said.

“Spencer,” she said, smiling. “You scared the ever living stuffing out of us!”

I laughed. “I didn’t mean to,” I told her.

She stood up and I looked all about me. “I love you all.”

“Yes, yes, they love you too,” Dr. Caldwell said, smiling. “But you need rest, and I need all of them out.”

They all filed out of the room except for Bridge and my mom.

“Mom!” I said when the door shut. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“When you didn’t wake up from surgery, Bridget called me.” Her head hung low. “She told me what your father did.”

I squeezed her hands. “It’s okay, Mom.” I looked at Bridge. “It is okay, right? Everything got worked out?”

“Oh, it’s fine,” she said. “In fact, it’s more than fine. Jonah found the most spectacular working ranch for sale a few miles south of Bitterroot.”

“Does the family like it?”

“The family loves it,” Bridget admitted warmly. “They’ve already moved the ranch and drove the cattle south.”

Thinking back on Hunt Ranch made me so incredibly sad, but I was happy I was able to provide them the life my father stole.

“Your money helped,” she said. “There’s still a million left,” she said.

“That’s yours, Bridget.”

“What?” she asked, her eyes wide.

“It’s for you and the baby.”

“And what are you going to do?”

“I’m leaving,” I told them, shocking Bridge.

“What? Why?”

“As long as Dad is alive, is around, he will stop at nothing to ruin me. I can’t risk the Hunts. I can’t risk you or Mom.”

“Spencer,” Bridge said softly, “what about Cricket?”

“I’m doing this all for Cricket, Bridge. I did all this for her.”

“She’s not going to stand for this,” she said.

“She’ll have to. It’s to keep her safe, Bridge. Do you promise not to tell her? At least until I’ve left.”

“Yes,” she complied, though she hated to.

We talked about my plan to leave and I agreed to take a few thousand dollars to keep myself afloat for a bit. I would return to Brown and continue going to school there. I would talk to the administration about the rowing scholarship I had and what it meant for me in the long run. I also promised Bridge I would return when the baby was born.

My mom was moving to Montana and planned on living with Bridget until she was done with her education, including college.

I had done everything I could for the family that did all they could for us, and I was more than satisfied.

Now, if I could only muster up the courage to leave Cricket behind.

Early in the morning, I discharged myself, much to Dr. Caldwell’s dismay, but I promised him I would see a nephrologist as soon as I got to Providence and would report back to him. I thanked him and grabbed the bag Bridge hesitantly packed for me.

I kissed my sister and mother goodbye and caught a taxi to the airport.

I was going to keep Cricket Hunt safe if it killed me...or tried to...again.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

It had been nine days, seven hours and three, no, four minutes since I’d left Montana and I was in torment. I was getting shit sleep, not just because I was recovering from surgery, but mostly because I kept dreaming of the night I kissed Cricket.

I laid in bed, in my new apartment with bars on the window, with my new furniture I got at the Goodwill. I didn’t buy anything upholstered there though. I drew the line there. Instead, I splurged and bought one sofa at Ikea as well as a mattress from one of those monster warehouse places that also sell gallons of nacho cheese.

But it wasn’t the apartment I had a problem with. It was the fact that my home was two thousand five hundred fifty-six miles away, because my home was Cricket.

My alarm clock started beeping, indicating it was five-thirty in the morning and I did, indeed, have to start my first day of work at the campus coffee shop.

My summer semester wouldn’t start for a few more weeks, but I had to do something to pay bills. I was basically miserable without Cricket, so why not tack on the added bonus of smelling like I’d been marinating in a coffee bean bag for twelve hours a day, right?

You can do it, I told myself. Just take it a day at a time. I sat up. Okay, maybe a minute at a time.

Since I’d gotten back, I’d seen a doctor several times and I was recovering well. He’d given me a clean bill of health to return to work. I called and talked to Bridge every day. She was getting bigger, staying healthy, things were going strong with Jonah, which I was glad to hear. When she tried to talk to me about Cricket, I would stop her before she could continue.

“No sense in torturing myself,” I’d tell her.

I’d also written a very detailed apologetic letter to Peter Knight and his wife for my part in my dad’s scandal. I explained everything to him and his wife but hadn’t gotten a response, not that I expected one. I was just glad I told him the truth. I wasn’t sure if it would help the man, but I hoped it gave him the evidence he needed to prove his innocence to his wife if my dad did the unthinkable.

I stood and took a shower in my three-by-three-foot bathroom, brushed my teeth before dressing in my uniform of jeans and a t-shirt. I grabbed my starched apron and keys and left, locking the door behind me.

I left my truck with my mom and Bridge, but got a place close enough to campus that I could walk without any issues. I passed a guy I remembered from my freshman year and waved. He looked surprised I’d done so but waved back. It made me think of the impression I gave off when I was here as the “other” Spencer.

The little coffee shop had an outside kiosk during the warmer months, so I was assigned to it since it didn’t get quite as busy as the shop inside the campus. I was greeted by a senior named Jason. He showed me the ropes, taught me how to make the more difficult drinks, where the supplies could be found and everything else. I could run the kiosk by myself just with an hour’s worth of training.

After he showed me the entire kiosk and their procedures, he leaned against the counter.

“Is there nothing else to do?” I asked him.

“Nothing, man, just chill and wait for people is all.”

Coming from the grueling day-to-day of the ranch made it feel like I was being lazy just setting back.

“Wait a minute,” he said, snapping his fingers. “I know you.”

“You do?”

“Hell yeah, you’re that rich bastard who takes all the girls.” He narrowed his gaze at me. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I’m, uh, I’m not rich,” I laughed.

“Bullshit. You’re filthy rich, dude. I saw the cars you drove around here.”

I held up my hands. “I need to clarify. I was just using my dad’s money and he cut me off.”

“Oh, shit! Got in deep with daddy, huh?” he ribbed. “What? He made you slum it with us lowlies to teach you a lesson?”

“Nah,” I said, ignoring his attempt at getting a rise out of me. “It’s a little more complicated.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I told him and relayed everything that had happened to me during the past six months, since we had the time.

When I was done, the guy’s mouth gaped wide open.

“What?” I asked, uncomfortable.

“That’s harsh, dude. What he did to you is messed up.”

“Nah, I helped a lot of people and changed myself in the process.”

“That’s pretty righteous.”

“Thanks.”

When my first shift was over, I yanked off my apron, folded it and stuck it in my back pocket. I cut toward College Hill and stopped in at Louis Restaurant for some dinner. Although I had always loved the place, I found myself wanting the ridiculous food of the ranch. I looked up from my seat and called it what it was. Homesick. I was homesick something awful for Cricket.

I sat back and recalled all the times I made myself memorize her, utterly grateful that I had. Vanilla. Grapefruit. Clever smiles. Ballet walks. Swishing hips. Witty conversation. Humble attitude. Talented. All-around perfect. I sighed, leaving my food as it was and left enough for a generous tip.

I walked home, determined to trudge through it all, determined to give the Hunts a life free of any drama, and that was not going to happen if my dad had anything to say about it.

The night air felt thick. It was starting to get really warm and humid and I was ready for school to start, ready for the distraction. Summer bugs began chirping in the trees on my walk home. I studied the sidewalk, wishing it was field and snow.

I swung open the iron gate to my complex and let it slam shut behind me. I descended the walkway that led to my door and pulled my keys out of my front pocket. I swung them in my fingers, whistling “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots.”

“That’s my jam,” someone beside me said.

I stopped walking, my keys dropping to the sidewalk below me. My heart started racing.

“You like The Flaming Lips?” I asked her, the same question I had that day she delivered the calf.

She sat on the retaining wall in front of my apartment, one knee against her chest, and watched me. She made my blood furiously pump through my veins. I wanted to seize her.

“Why did you go?” she asked.

“I had to.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“My dad won’t stop trying to destroy me, Cricket, and he’ll take down everyone in my path, including your family.”

“You are my family, Spencer.”

My eyes closed at her drugging words.

“Did you mean it?” she asked, holding up my crinkled letter. It looked so worn, like she’d read it over and over.

“Every. Word.”

“Come here,” she said.

I walked toward her.

She had a soft canvas bag beside her. She reached her hand inside and pulled her hand out. Perched on her palm was the sculpture of the three little birds. On a ribbon of metal, it read “Smile with the risin’ sun.”

“Take it.”

I held it in my hand and studied its brilliancy. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

“You’re the sun for me, Cricket.”

“You’re the sun for me, Spencer.”

“I hate life without you, Cricket.”

“I hate life without you, Spencer.”

“I want you so bad. I can taste you already.”

“I’m yours to taste, love.”

“But my dad…”

“You’re dad is not invincible, Spencer. We will cross those bridges when we come to them.”

I studied her face. “You look good.” I swallowed. “Healthy.”

“Caldwell said I took my transplant without one single complication. It was like it was made for me.”