The words leave a bad taste in my mouth. They are mean, really really mean. Maybe too mean.

I think she’s going to look up and tell me to eff off. But she doesn’t. She looks up, and she’s got tears in her eyes. She takes a step backward, away from me. “Let me say one last thing, Kat. For the rest of my life, I want you to know that I’ll be ashamed for not being there for you when your mom got sick. I don’t want you to go off to Oberlin or wherever, us never see each other again, and you not know that.”

It’s hard to make words come out. My throat is so suddenly tight. “Good. You should be ashamed.” I can feel my chin start to shake.

Rennie sees this, and her tears come fast. “I’m sorry,” she says. And then she’s sobbing. She sits down on the step, leans forward and puts her head in her lap, and bawls.

This kind of shocks me. And then I realize I’m getting everything I’ve always wanted. Not revenge, but an apology. A real one. Except I’m too sad to enjoy it. Things didn’t have to be this way.

I sink down too, one step above her, and watch her shoulders heave up and down. It’s hard not to comfort her. I end up patting her back. Twice. Damn. I’m only human.

Dad and Pat pull up with a Christmas tree tied to the roof of the car. They see us, and Pat’s eyes go wide. I shake my head, so he knows it’s okay. He pulls my dad in through the garage.

Rennie lifts her head. “I want to promise you something. I promise on my heart that I will not do one more mean thing to you, Kat. Ever.” My throat is dry, so I give her the slightest nod of acknowledgment. “And I wanted to invite you to my New Year’s Eve party.”

I’m about to say thanks but no thanks to her invitation, but then it hits me. If I’m at the party, then I’ll get to see shit between Reeve and Lillia go down firsthand. “Can I bring someone?” I ask, thinking of Mary. “If I don’t have anything better to do?”

Rennie laughs at that. “Classic Kat,” she says. “Totally. Whoever you want.” She stands up and stretches. “There’s going to be a bouncer, like at a speakeasy. If you tell him ‘My flask is empty,’ he’ll let you in for free.” Her face breaks into a devious smile. “I’ve even got a special surprise planned for midnight and I want you front and center for the show. Boom boom boom, baby.”

I can’t help but roll my eyes at her, because dude, she’s still so Rennie.

“Listen . . . I do appreciate you coming over,” I say gruffly. “And for saying that stuff to me.”

She smiles. “It’s the least I could do.” She scratches Shep behind the ears and then kisses him on the head. “Bye, Kat.”

“Bye, Ren.”

In a weird way, it doesn’t feel like good-bye. It feels like maybe the smallest bit of a start.

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

As soon as I got home from school I locked up the liquor cabinet and the door to the wine cellar; then I made a sign with my calligraphy pen that said Off Limits and put it on my parents’ bedroom door. I debated putting up a sign on the front door that said Please Take Off Your Shoes, but then decided it would be a bit much. If I see people putting their feet up on the white couches, I will politely ask them not to.

I’m wearing the lacy black corset top that Kat bought for me. I haven’t had the nerve to wear it up until now, but I think that as hostess I’m supposed to look extra special. I’m wearing it with a pleated gray mini and my gold horseshoe pendant. I curled my hair and teased the crown up so it’s bouncy and big. The last touch is pale pink lipstick and a dab of perfume.

I see Reeve’s truck pull up and watch him bound up the walkway with four pizza boxes stacked up. I run over to the front door and fling it open before he can ring the bell.

His jaw drops when he sees me. “Damn, Cho.”

It’s exactly the reaction I was hoping for, but my cheeks still heat up. “Thanks for picking up the pizzas,” I say as he steps inside. He hands me the boxes as he slips off his shoes and lines them up against the wall. He’s wearing white sweat socks with a gray toe, the same brand as my dad. This makes me smile for some reason.

I can feel his eyes on me as I walk him to the kitchen. I set the pizzas down on the counter. “Thanks again,” I say, just to have something to say.

“No sweat.”

“Did you get the kegs?” I ask.

“Yeah, they’re in the back of my truck.”

“I’ll help you bring them in,” I say.

Reeve lets out a laugh. “They’re too heavy for you and me. I’ll get PJ to help when he gets here.” Giving me the once-over, he adds, “Your skirt’s too short for you to help anyway.”

I make a pouty face. “It’s not that short.”

He grins at me. Then he hooks his hands on my h*ps and pulls me toward him, nice and easy. He keeps his eyes on me, watching me carefully, giving me a chance to stop him if I want.

But I don’t. I don’t want. I mean I do. Want.

And then he’s kissing me; his mouth is soft and sure against mine. He really knows how to kiss.

I don’t remember inviting this many people. And I explicitly said no underclassmen, so why do I see junior girls from the squad? This party is so not VIP. And God, being the hostess is probably the least fun thing ever. I’m constantly running around wiping up spills and turning down the music. I haven’t even had one sip of alcohol!

Thank God Reeve is here.

He’s standing at the door, barking at people to take off their shoes. “Morrissey, were you raised in a freaking barn?” he growls. Reeve winks at me when he sees me watching.

I’m doing a lap around the downstairs when I see her. Rennie. I can’t even believe it, but there she is, drinking a beer, sprawled out on my couch with her high-heeled boots on, talking to Ash, who’s perched on the armrest.

I’m not sure what to do. If I try to kick her out, it’ll be such drama, which is exactly what she wants. For us to have a fight in front of all these people. So I do the exact opposite; I grab a bowl of chips from the kitchen and sail over to the couch with a sunny smile. “Hey, guys!” I plop down beside them.

Rennie gives me a fake smile where only the corners of her mouth go up, and Ash leans over and hugs me. “Lil, everything’s a mess,” she wails.

“What’s wrong?” I ask her.

“Derek told me tonight that he wants to keep it casual; he doesn’t want to be in a serious thing his senior year.” Ashlin blows her nose with a cocktail napkin.