“He frequently referenced his ‘findings,’ as he called them, which apparently were the facts, dates, places, and every other bit of information about us that he could learn,” Jesse said. “At first he secretly watched us himself, from a distance, and then as he grew older and frailer he hired men to follow us.”

I couldn’t believe it. “So he knew everything.”

“Not precisely. Some of the conclusions that he drew from his findings were wrong, such as the nature of our affliction.” He opened the journal to a passage he had marked, and handed it to me to read.

The boy and his parents never eat or drink, so they must have evolved past the need for nourishment, or they are subsisting on some energy source unknown to me. Since they are always acquiring new cattle and horses, and those are the only living things they will tolerate in their presence, I believe the answer lies with how they are using the animals. I have ordered some books on animal ritual sacrifices and their effectiveness. I am also searching for any literature on the transfer of life energy and souls from one being to another.

“He thought you were sacrificing cows for their souls?” I shuddered. “What a nasty mind.”

“There’s more.” Jesse took the journal from me and added it to the pile on his desk. “He knew about us.”

“Us? As in you and me?” When he nodded, my eyes widened. “How?”

“Julian sent his assistant to watch the old manor house. He knew I often went there while I was out riding. He assumed—correctly—that I wanted privacy.” He caressed my cheek with the backs of his fingers. “The assistant saw you when I brought you there. He assumed you were an immortal, too, and that we were indulging in some sort of mystical courtship. From the way he describes it, he believed that we were some sort of Romeo and Juliet.”

In a way, I guessed, we were. “Did he think my brothers and I were sacrificing cows?”

“Julian never discovered who you were or where you lived,” Jesse assured me. “He ordered his assistant to take photos of you, but the one night that he tried, Prince got loose and scared him away.”

I remembered that night only too well; Jesse had gotten stranded at the old practice barn. “That’s why Prince ran. He wasn’t spooked. He was chasing off a peeping Tom.” I stared at the journal. “The nosy old man almost got you killed, and for what? Just to write a bunch of nonsense in his journals?”

Jesse picked up another journal. “He wrote about that as well.” He hesitated before handing it to me. “It’s on the third page.”

I flipped past the first pages and began reading.

Time is slipping away faster than ever. I can feel my mind fading as well; I must write down everything or I forget it completely within an hour. I must be helped from bed in the morning, and if I sit too long in any one place I fall asleep. I can’t even enjoy food any longer, for the doctor won’t permit me to eat anything I want. I dream of steak and potatoes and a bottle of wine, but my assistant brings me only soup and pureed fruit and tea.

I’m well aware that I am dying a little every day. I remember how mother and father were, just before I lost them. I will not go as quietly as they did. I refuse to give up hope. It’s all I have left.

This last year I’ve come to understand how wrong I’ve been. All my life I believed I was happy, but I was only deluding myself. Because I never allowed myself to care for anyone but myself, I have no wife to love, or children to carry on my name. No one has ever called me their friend. How can I realize this only when there’s no time left to fix my mistakes?

I will continue my research. I know the immortals have learned how to live forever, that it is possible to avoid death altogether. If only I can stay alive long enough to discover their secret. Somehow I must.

I closed the book. “I’m not going to say ‘that poor man.’” I glanced at Jesse. “No matter how much I want to.”

He took my hand in his. “It does not excuse what he did, but it does explain why.”

The old man’s sad, desperate words still hurt my heart, and made me get up and slip into my dark boy’s arms.

“You’re upset.” He rubbed his hand over my back. “I shouldn’t have let you read that.”

“No, I think it was good for me. Kind of a reality check.” I caught a strand of his silky black hair, and moved it so that the light brought out the amethyst glints. Jesse’s hair would always be this color, even when mine turned gray. “Someday I’m going to be old. I don’t think about it too much, but it will happen. And you’ll still be like you are now.”

He kissed the top of my head. “It won’t make any difference to me, Catlyn. You will always be my lady.”

“While eventually I’ll have to tell everyone that you’re my boy toy,” I tried to joke, but my heart wasn’t in it. I looked up at him. “What do you think I’ll write in my journal when I’m as old as Julian?”

He pretended to think for a minute. “You’ll write, ‘I spent the day with the one I love. The garden is blooming, the horses are playing tag in the pasture, and the grandchildren are coming to visit us this weekend. I have never felt happier.’”

“The one I love sounds great, and so does the garden and the horses, but grandchildren?” I wasn’t sure how to wrap my mind around that concept.

“Your parents had children,” he reminded me. “Someday I hope that you and I do the same.”

I thought about having kids as often as I did being old, which was basically never. If Jesse and I did have a baby, it would probably inherit characteristics from both of us. If Jesse’s father was right, and all Van Helsings were born with special vampire-hunting abilities, the kid would get stuck with that. I’d gotten my dark hair and pale skin from my father, and possibly some of his vampire strengths—I already knew I could jump two stories without hurting myself.

“You do want children, don’t you?” Jesse asked, dispelling my thoughts.

“I can’t think that far ahead.” I made a face. “Grandkids will want to call me Nana, won’t they?”

“I’ll insist on it.”

Reluctantly I left his arms and regarded the stacks of journals. “What are we going to do with these now?”

“Considering how much information Julian amassed about me and my family,” Jesse said, “I must ask that you not return any of these to the collection.”

I hadn’t thought about that, but I nodded. “I’ll catalog the book safes as empty. I’m just glad we discovered these before Mrs. Frost sold off the collection.” I got up and stretched. “Imagine the field day someone would have with Julian’s ‘findings.’”

“He didn’t record them in his journals.” Jesse’s eyes narrowed. “He only mentioned them.”

I looked up at the ceiling. “We’ve got to look through the rest of those bins and find them.” When he didn’t follow me to the door, I turned around. “Don’t you want to know what else he had on you and your family?”

“It’s not necessary. Last night I searched through the remaining bins in the storeroom, to ensure we had found all of the journals.” He gave me a bleak look. “Catlyn, there is nothing else but books in those bins.”

“You checked each one to make sure they were real?” When he nodded, I began to pace. “Mrs. Frost said he was very secretive, and what information he had on you, he definitely wouldn’t want to share. Maybe he hid his findings somewhere else.”

“He never left his home, so they must still be there,” Jesse said. “I’ll have to go and search it tonight.”

“I’m going with you.” I recalled the promise I’d made to my brother. “But I can’t, not tonight. I have to get back to the store.”

“Tonight is the only chance we’ll have,” Jesse said. “All of his property—including the contents of his house—is scheduled to be sold at a public auction being held at the estate. I know because my parents asked Lawrence to place bids for them on the house and land.”

I closed my eyes. “When is the auction?”

“It starts at noon tomorrow.”

Thirteen

Tony’s Garage occupied one corner of the block behind the bookstore, and as I walked toward the office door I could hear clanking and banging sounds coming from behind the closed doors of the service bays. I glanced up to see Jesse watching me from the roof, and offered him a wan smile before I went inside.

No one was in the office (which was cluttered beyond belief) so I walked through the adjoining door out into the garage. “Hello? Anyone here?”

A heavyset man rolled out from under a pickup truck. “Help you?”

“I’m looking for a friend of mine,” I told him. “Karise Carson?”

“It’s okay, Tony.” Kari emerged from behind some shelves of car parts. “She’s cool.” She glanced over her shoulder. “She’s no snitch, either.”

My jaw dropped as Connor Devlin, one of Tanglewood’s most popular jocks, stepped out into the light. “Oh, my God. You’re Seek?”

“I think I’d better plead the fifth.” He winked at me. “Nice to meet the other legend.”

“I’m not a legend.” I sighed. “I’m in trouble again.” I turned to Kari. “I need a favor. Kind of a huge one.”

After I explained what I wanted to do, she nodded. “Not a problem. So when I talk to him, do you want me to be me, or some shiny glee clubber who goes to church regularly, has made the chastity promise, and would never, ever get you into any kind of trouble whatsoever?”

“You don’t have to lie about who you are,” I said, making Connor laugh. “Sorry. I meant, be you. Just don’t volunteer any extra info.”

She looked pleased. “I knew there was a reason I liked you, Youngblood. You’re smart and honest, even when you’re lying through your teeth.”