"Lissa will not be going out again for at least two weeks, and that may be pushing it," Karzac glared at Norian.

"Calm down, I was planning to ask when she might be able to help out," Norian replied. "And I'll depend on you to give me status reports in the future, if our Queen isn't up to these activities. I wasn't looking forward to this when I was notified of the assignment to Le-Ath Veronis. After yesterday, my heart rate and my stress level dropped dramatically. Not that they won't rise again," he offered a brief, roguish grin, "but for now, things are so much better."

"You might ask me if I'm prepared to go off with you," I huffed. "Difik." I misted right out of the hot tub and into my suite.

"Not a good idea to press those buttons," Drake and Drew said together. Norian's eyebrows lifted in surprise. These twins were identical, except for the color of ink on their dragon tattoos.

"She called me an idiot, didn't she?" Norian grinned.

"That is the closest you can get to a direct translation," Garde agreed. He lifted a hand from the hot water—his fingers were wrinkled. "I'll go check on Lissa," he said and skipped away.

I was standing in my closet, wrapped in a towel when fifteen males, all in various stages of dress, trooped into my bedroom. I don't know how Norian thought he rated just walking in with the rest of my mates plus Rigo and Thurlow, but he was there, too. I'm not sure they'd even noticed he'd followed them.

"Lissa, tell me what you intend to do," Karzac spoke first.

"I was going to see Cheedas," I muttered. I was tired and wanted a nap right after I got something to drink. And I wanted to ask Cheedas to find somebody who could take Giff's place. I'd gone Looking while I searched for something to wear. I knew how things stood on that front, now. Giff's permanent defection was one more blow in a long line of others.

"What did you want to see Cheedas for?" Roff was working his way through the others.

"Honey," I was wiping my face, now, "I know Giff doesn't want to come back and I know she doesn't ever want me to see the baby. I was going to ask Cheedas if he knew somebody who could take her place."

"Fuck," I heard Tony mutter off to the side. Roff stopped three feet away from me, a stricken expression on his face.

"I'm not mad at you," I stifled the sob that came. "I just need to see Cheedas." Right then I might have had thoughts of just dropping to the floor and sobbing. I didn't have my wizard and I didn't have Giff. And I wasn't going to get to see her baby. Ever. My life since waking had been nothing but crap. I jerked a shirt and jeans off hangers and slammed the bathroom door behind me. I did my best to straighten myself up while I dressed, and then stomped out while fifteen males watched.

Rolfe was standing guard outside the door to my suite, so I made a huge production of slamming that door, too, before anybody had a chance to come out behind me. I think I heard the thick wood crack as I ran down the hall. That meant I was breathing heavily when I made my way into the kitchen, my breaths coming in gasps and sobs. Cheedas stood patiently while I rushed toward him, threw myself into his arms and wept.

If I'd thought to worry whether Cheedas might be uncomfortable while I cried, then my worries would have been unfounded. Honestly, I was wishing we didn't have an audience right then. Cheedas was doing his best to stop my tears, but that was easier said than done. He murmured nonsense to me and rubbed my back while everybody else watched silently. I was shaking by the time Cheedas sat on a barstool and pulled me onto his lap. A glass of juice was handed over and he helped me drink. When I got myself under control after a while, I wiped my face with unsteady fingers and looked up at Cheedas. "I need somebody to take Giff's place."

"I know this," he sighed. "There are two who would fit well and I think you should hire both."

"Where are they? I think I should talk to them soon." I scrubbed my face with a shaking hand.

"I will have them here tomorrow morning. I do not think you should worry about this for the rest of the day. Have one of your mates take you to your room, Raona. You should rest. I will fix something good for your lunch and someone will bring it to you."

"Cara, come with me." I buried my head against Gavin's neck when he lifted me away from Cheedas. Gavin didn't use his new folding skills very often, but he used them now. I was back inside my suite in a blink. My clothing was pulled off and I was dressed quickly in warm fleece instead—Gavin saw to that.

"Let us lie here and talk," Gavin settled my head on his shoulder—we had a dozen pillows piled around us on the bed, making a comfortable nest.

"Why did they do this to me, Gavin? What did I do to them?" I watched his dark brown eyes as I asked the question, hoping for an answer in their depths. He kissed my forehead carefully before offering a reply.

"Shhh, cara, you did nothing wrong. There is no good purpose behind any of this. Shadow still loves you—he is being mistreated, just as you are. This could well have waited, or another method could have been found. I find this senseless, my love. And Giff's fears are irrational. Giff is a new parent and is frightened for her child because Toff's taking was such a blow. It is my hope that this will work itself out. Rolfe holds this hope as well, because he finds it difficult to choose between two that he loves."

"He needs to stay with Giff. If we need to find another guard, then we'll find another guard." I sniffled—Rolfe was like the North Star for me—always at his post unless his position as Spawn Hunter for the Saa Thalarr called him away.

"No, cara," Gavin whispered against my hair. "Rolfe will not stand for that and even Giff knows not to ask. Giff needs to think this through rationally one day and she will discover that without you, she would not enjoy the life that she does. Rolfe would have been kept from her, if you had not come to rule Le-Ath Veronis."

"I don't want anything from her if she's not willing to give it," I muttered. Yeah, I was wallowing in self-pity.

"Cara, try to let this go for now. These are undeserved blows and it grieves me to see them aimed at you."

"What am I supposed to do, instead?" I watched Gavin's face—a muscle worked in his jaw—an emotional response he seldom displayed. His eyes weren't full of stars, either, as Kifirin's often were, but there was love and concern there. For me.

"Do you know why I was so worried about your walking into the sun, so long ago, cara? Why Aurelius was drawn into a trap so easily, when Xenides' whelp lied to him, telling him that one of his was injured by walking into the sun?" I blinked up at Gavin. I'd wondered about that—many times, in fact. It had seemed so incongruous, at the time—Gavin had been sent by the Council to eliminate me, but he'd begged me not to kill myself by walking into sunlight. I'd never figured that out.

"Tell me," I sighed.

"Aurelius made a female vampire, two centuries after René and I were turned. Her name was Lucia." I blinked at Gavin in shock and wondered if anyone else had heard this story. "We were all a little in love with her, I think," Gavin went on. "Lucia was barely nineteen and left for dead by travelers who'd been attacked by bandits. Aurelius attempted the turn and like a miracle, it worked. I think she must have had Elemaiyan blood, just as you do, cara. Else she would probably have died her final death. She lived with us for seventy years before giving herself to the sun." He shook his head sadly at remembered pain.

"Aurelius was inconsolable afterward. He barely kept himself alive. René and I were also devastated, but we forced ourselves to bring donors to Aurelius so he would feed, otherwise he might have wasted away. This went on for nearly twenty years, before my vampire sire finally pulled himself together. Then, that information was used against him—many knew how much he cared for his children. Aurelius died, or we were led to believe that he did. Therefore, René and I were reluctant to speak of it again—it was much too painful for us." I lifted a hand and traced Gavin's jaw—this was the first time he'd opened up to me regarding his past, and certainly the first time he'd displayed this much emotion.

"René went on to turn several and he loved them very much," Gavin continued. "I was unable to make any turns, because I did not believe I could deal with the pain of a child's death should it come to that. But you, cara, if I could turn back the clock and know of you and where you were, I would have been there a moment before Sergio could snatch you away. I would have turned you, just to make you mine. Wlodek would have been notified immediately. You would not have suffered, cara mia. Not at my hands."

"What happened to Devlin?" I'd been pulled away by Griffin after Devlin and some of Xenides' get had been captured at the Council's Annual Meeting. Devlin had handed information to Xenides, because he was jealous of Tony after René turned him.

"I wish you could have been at that Council meeting, love. Devlin and seven others stood before Wlodek for judgment that night. We'd learned of your death only days earlier, and many of us were half-mad with grief. This was before we were made to forget you. It was not a good time for the vampire race as a whole. Wlodek asked me if I wanted to draw out Devlin's death. Sebastian was always the one who'd done that before. I thought about it. Considered it. In the end, I did his beheading as swiftly as I'd done all the others. He did not suffer, though he deserved the suffering."

"Did he feel any remorse for causing René's death?"

"He blamed others for that and not himself," Gavin grumbled.

"What about Cecil and Nestor?"

"Nestor was killed by one of the humans who hunted us years later. While going through his and Cecil's records after their deaths, we found that they had collaborated with Saxom many times and brought wealth to themselves through his machinations. Cecil tried to kill Flavio after he took Wlodek's position. Kyler killed Cecil, I believe, when he attempted to eliminate Flavio, who was newly mated to her. Cecil had become more than wealthy through the centuries by selling weapons to terrorists. He also had his eye on the Honored One's place in the Council, and made careful plans to take it. Cecil gathered vampires sympathetic to his efforts in the attempted coup, in exchange for seats on the Council. Earth's vampires owe Kyler for eliminating that threat."