Alex twists in his seat so he can see the clock on the wall. “Okay. Well, we’d better get started.” Alex opens the meeting by using his empty soda bottle as a gavel. “Let this meeting of Jar Island prom committee officially come to order. It looks like we’ve got someone new with us today. Would you care to introduce yourself?”

Lillia laughs, and I roll my eyes. Alex is so corny sometimes. “Shut up, Alex. Look. Basically I’m here because I think it’s a stupid-ass idea to have prom at a freaking nightclub all the way in Boston. I think we should have it here, on Jar Island, like we do every year.”

PJ shrugs his shoulders. “I doubt we’ll be able to get a new location. It’s already crawling with tourists again. This stuff needs to be reserved a year in advance.”

I fold my arms. “Well, then no one’s going to come.”

Ash sighs. “I hate to say it, but Kat might be right. Nobody’s buying tickets because they can’t afford it.”

Lillia says, “Even if we did find another location, we don’t have any funds to reserve it. We’ll lose our deposit on the club for sure. They made us sign a contract and pay them in full.”

“What about our gym?” PJ suggests. “I bet the school would let us use it.”

No one says anything. Me either, actually, because a high school prom in our ugly gym sounds lame.

Lillia, being a good sport, clears her throat. “I mean, sure. I guess we could ask the janitors to clear out the mats and light some scented candles to get rid of the smell.”

Ashlin moans, “OMG, this is going to be the most low-rent prom in history. Even worse than the time they had prom at that nursing home rec room a couple of years ago. Remember it smelled like Depends? I wonder if they’re booked. . . .”

I glance across the table at Alex. “What about your house?”

“Huh?” He snorts. “My house is big, but we can’t fit the entire senior class in it.”

“Then we’ll rent a big tent and pitch it in the backyard. Didn’t your uncle have his wedding there?”

“Third wedding. Yeah. And he invited a ton of people.” He cocks his head to the side. “This could work. My mom loves to put on an event. She was talking about throwing me a big graduation party. Maybe she could do this instead.”

“All right, cool,” I say. “But we’re going to have to kick planning into high gear to get everything ready. I’ll take the lead.” I open up my notebook and start delegating work and subcommittees and all that shit for the next thirty minutes straight, and everyone’s nodding their heads, totally on board with me taking over.

A few weeks ago I planned on graduating without ever attending prom, and now I’m basically running the show.

The bell rings, and we head out. Ash drops her makeup bag on her way out of the room, and Lillia picks it up and runs it to her. Ash takes it and quietly says thank you, but it’s not exactly warm.

If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that life’s too f**king short. I wasted too much time being angry and bitter. I wish I could go back in time and say a thousand things to Rennie. It’s too late for that, but it’s not too late for Ash and Lillia.

Chapter Forty-Eight

LILLIA

KAT TEXTS ME ABOUT AN emergency prom committee meeting at Ash’s house, seven p.m. It makes sense. We’ve got so much to do. It’s already April.

So after dinner I drive over to Ash’s. I must be the first one to arrive, because there aren’t any other cars in the driveway. Their housekeeper, Sheila, lets me in, and I go straight up to Ashlin’s room. The door is closed, so I knock. She doesn’t answer, so I poke my head in. She’s asleep under the covers. Ashlin has always loved an after-school nap. I clear my throat. “Ash?”

Ashlin stirs and rolls over. “Lil?”

I stand in the doorway awkwardly. “Sorry I woke you up. Is anyone else here yet?”

Groggily Ash sits up. She’s in one of her big cheerleading T-shirts and pink-and-green polka-dot underwear. Her fluffy blond hair looks like chicken feathers in the back. She looks so—Ash. I didn’t realize how much I missed her until this moment. She checks her phone. “What are you talking about?”

“The emergency meeting.” That’s when I realize—this is Kat’s doing. She’s trying to bring Ash and me back together. I can’t believe it. I step in and perch at the edge of her bed. “Sorry. I guess I heard Kat wrong.”

Yawning, Ash eyes me. “So is it true you and Reeve are done-zo?”

I nod. “The whole thing was a mistake from the start.”

“I don’t blame you for breaking up with him. You think you know somebody . . . I mean, bullying a girl so bad she kills herself?” Ash shakes her head.

“I know,” I say quietly. “Who told you?”

“Some girl from yearbook. She went to school with him at Montessori.”

My heart is beating wildly. “What’s her name?”

“I don’t remember. She has blond hair. Pretty. Kinda soft-spoken.”

Chills tickle my spine like piano keys. It’s Mary. It has to be.

Ash continues, twirling her hair around her fingers. “When Reeve transferred back from Montessori, he seemed totally fine, like no big deal. You’d never have known a girl had just died because of him.”

“He was young,” I say, my voice thin. “And I think it hit him a lot harder than anybody knows. He just didn’t let anybody see.”

“True. That’s how he deals, right? He doesn’t.” She leans back against her pillows. “When Ren died, I don’t think I saw him cry once, and he knew her the longest of everybody. He just keeps things locked up inside. Like, I think that being with you might have been his way of not dealing with his pain.”

“We never should have been together in the first place.” Saying it out loud makes me feel like crying, but I know it’s true.

“I don’t know. I still think what went down was a betrayal to Ren. Like, no matter what, it was effed up, what you guys did. But I think you and I both know that Reeve never saw her that way. They never would have ended up together. And he’s always had a thing for you, and Ren knew it.”

“No, he hasn’t,” I say. “He hated me.”

“Maybe so, but freshman year he told Derek that you were the hottest girl in our class and he wanted to hit it.” Ashlin scratches her neck. “You’ve always had a love-hate thing. I’ve been thinking about this a lot. I wonder if Rennie’s dying isn’t what finally brought you guys together.”